Thoughts while Traveling
2.25.2004
It is a true statement that the more sleep you get, the more tired you are and vice versa. I have been working both of my jobs now simultaneously (sorta) for about a month now, and even though my zzzzzzzz's intake has lowered considerably, my body is getting accustomed. I don't have to have little pep rallies for myself in the car from one job to the other anymore.I just go! I am just happy about that right now for some reason.
I watched the last two episodes of "Everwood" on way to dream land (although Justin, you win the bizzare dream award this time, baby) because my husband lovingly and religiously tapes it for us. I love that show. It is so well written and (for the most part) acted. Very thought provoking issues. Good show, good show.
So...got a letter in the post yesterday informing me that I was not offered a position at the Opera Institute. And some other futile words about the "high volume of interest in the program this year....blah blah blah"
Is that supposed to make me feel better? Yet another reminder that sopranos are dime a dozen?
It doesn't.
However, quite honestly, I did the best I could at the time, fully aware of my present limitations as a singer...and more importantly I laid the entire situation down at the feet of Jesus ...and for now the door has been closed.
A bit disheartening, I must admit. Even though I have been bracing myself for defeat for a while.
But is it really defeat? I wasn't and still am not convinced that pursuing opera is the answer for me. I don't know if there IS an answer for me. On the other hand I don't believe that my God has created me with passions and gifts to flounder around in them for the remainder of my life in a constant search. There are different angles to look at this from. The majority of my being wishes that God would place a burning bush in my path and show me exactly. And I would go. anywhere. the fact that this is not happening has the potential to bring me to a point of discontentment. But as someone (much older than me) reminded me of this morning was the adventure of a life following Christ.
_adventure__ 1. an undertaking involving danger and unknown risks.
2. an exciting or remarkable experience
maybe it's not defeat at all. What's on the horizon. Lord Jesus, lover of my soul....please guide me. And my husband. Show us, Lord. Wherever, whatever...the hardest part is WHENEVER....
whenever, God.
I watched the last two episodes of "Everwood" on way to dream land (although Justin, you win the bizzare dream award this time, baby) because my husband lovingly and religiously tapes it for us. I love that show. It is so well written and (for the most part) acted. Very thought provoking issues. Good show, good show.
So...got a letter in the post yesterday informing me that I was not offered a position at the Opera Institute. And some other futile words about the "high volume of interest in the program this year....blah blah blah"
Is that supposed to make me feel better? Yet another reminder that sopranos are dime a dozen?
It doesn't.
However, quite honestly, I did the best I could at the time, fully aware of my present limitations as a singer...and more importantly I laid the entire situation down at the feet of Jesus ...and for now the door has been closed.
A bit disheartening, I must admit. Even though I have been bracing myself for defeat for a while.
But is it really defeat? I wasn't and still am not convinced that pursuing opera is the answer for me. I don't know if there IS an answer for me. On the other hand I don't believe that my God has created me with passions and gifts to flounder around in them for the remainder of my life in a constant search. There are different angles to look at this from. The majority of my being wishes that God would place a burning bush in my path and show me exactly. And I would go. anywhere. the fact that this is not happening has the potential to bring me to a point of discontentment. But as someone (much older than me) reminded me of this morning was the adventure of a life following Christ.
_adventure__ 1. an undertaking involving danger and unknown risks.
2. an exciting or remarkable experience
maybe it's not defeat at all. What's on the horizon. Lord Jesus, lover of my soul....please guide me. And my husband. Show us, Lord. Wherever, whatever...the hardest part is WHENEVER....
whenever, God.
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