Thoughts while Traveling

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up in the place I did. Surrounded by the people I am surrounded by. The truth is that my life journey has been so random and unlikely, when pondering this I always peddle back around and remember it was God who dropped me here and ...I no longer wonder. I just revel in it for a moment.

This happened Wednesday night after Bible study with my dear friends. Praying together was so sweet. It was like walking along a inclined dirt road with rocks and branches blocking my path, my heart racing, sweat dripping down my temples. And then, I reached the top, got on my bike, and let go. Flying down the other side, I forget the pain and the struggle. I let the wind invade my personal space and allow the freedom that I have been given to overtake the journey for a bit.

Isn't it amazing that time with God can feel like that? Really letting go of the burdens and the weight. I love it. "My yoke is easy and my burden is light..." He wasn't joking when He said that.

We talked about Hannah that day. The mother of Samuel. At first glance, I had a hard time relating to this woman. I am not a mother...and that is often what I think of when I come across Hannah. BUT alas, God saw fit to open my stubborn little eyes and show me just how much Hannah and I have in common, or rather, how much we NEED to have in common. What can I learn from this lady?

Hannah's life seemed incomplete. She wanted what she thought she couldn't have. She coveted what God hadn't ordained for her just yet. What happened is that her identity became wrapped up in this, and despair took over.

How often has that been true in my life? Whoa~ maybe Hannah and I are more alike than I thought. Reality check. How much of my identity is wrapped up in coveting what I don't have, washing away the blessings of the moment with the tears of wishing for what I don't have?

humbled.

What did she do? She came to God over and over, raw and real and begging him for a child. She promised that if God would bless her with a child, she would give him right back to Him.

So it happened.

And what did she do? Did she tell the Lord she would teach Samuel about faith and love him unconditionally and go on about her merry way? No, she didn't. This is the kicker. She kept her promise, and as soon as the child was weaned, she took him to the temple and put him in the care of Eli, to grow in the ways of God. SHE LITERALLY GAVE HIM UP.

Now, because I am not a mother, I don't fully understand the magnitude of her action. The agony that must have been to leave him there. However, I can imagine...and since my imagination is vivid and I am a visual learner, my thoughts race to two of my close friends, Becki and Sarah---who ironically both have sons names Samuel. How hard would that be? I don't think I could WATCH either one of them go through this surrender of their sons, much less be the one making that sacrifice.

She kept her promise. She kept her promise because she loved her Father more than the blessing of a son that He gave her.

Back to me (grimacing in shame) ~ How many times (a day? a week?) do I not keep my promise? Am I not true to my word? To God himself? To my friends? To my enemies?

Sacrifice.

What is a sacrifice if it doesn't cost us? There is a loaded question. Hannah threw that one in my face real quick-- when do I actually make a sincere and costly sacrifice? Not nearly often enough.

And so I found that I have a lot to learn from Hannah. Her song in I Samuel 2 is such a BOLD statement of her faith.

Identity.
Promises.
Sacrifice.

I smirk when I consider my "pre-Hannah" question- is she relevant to me? Can I learn anything from her?

A little bit...