Thoughts while Traveling

Work is slow as molasses and believe it or not, I have run out of things to "google." It's funny to me as this word is a widely used verb.

Dear blogger, I feel numb these days. I wish I felt a little more passionate about, well, anything. I am not sure what I feel or where I am headed. Kathy's handwriting I have framed as saying, "Cling to what you know, and not what you feel." She wrote this to me during my summer in Zambia, while in the throws of grief and despair and searching for signs of my Creator (I found Him, by the way).

It is now years later, and I am reciting this to myself still.

As mentioned before, I am not exactly busy this day. Earlier, I took a curious look back at blogs past, not sure what I would find. All the way back to February, 2004 when tangosandflowers was birthed. Wow, has it been that long? Time flies, I say. Many twists and turns, victory's and defeats, growth galore... and friend's unmatched.

So I take this prime opportunity to evaluate. Rather than sitting on my arse waiting for the phone to ring and mindlessly surfing the web, I challenge myself to ponder.

What are the things that I know?

I am going to fight any urge to do this methodically, and just let it flow as it will- rhyme and reason set to the side.

1. I am still alive. There must be a reason for that.
2. I am blessed with a partner in this journey that ages like a fine wine, in every way. I still sometimes look at you in total wonder that you are mine.
3. I am still teachable.
4. I continue to be forgiven and redeemed. My God is one of second chances, and I can't fathom how much grace that actually takes.
5. Faith and strong values were instilled in me as a child when I was hardly paying attention. As an adult looking back, I appreciate this more than they will ever know.
6. It really is a rare thing to find true character and integrity in this world that we live in. I know this sad truth, but believe that one day...all will be revealed.
7. Hindsight really and truly is 20/20.
8. Family is THE most important thing. If we can't count on each other, even concerning the hard and "untouchable" things, what's the use? Really.
9. God really does care enough to weave in and out of our lives the hearts that are needed to move us forward. I am eternally thankful and grateful for this truth.
10. All things really do work together for good...(and the important part) for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.
11. Diversity begs to be embraced.
12. Vulnerability does not come as easy as it used to. Help.
13. No mountain is too steep.
14. Moments are so important.
15. Every day is an opportunity.

Thanks, Kathy. I miss you, you know. My life is still carrying on here, and I am remain clinging to the things that I know and walking with that knowledge at a steady pace. Perhaps too steady. Stepping on the gas a bit wouldn't hurt.