Thoughts while Traveling

There are little parades everywhere. In the East Village, on 7th Ave. in the Slope, etc., etc. Children and adults alike traipsing around in costumes and giggling. Why is it I have to keep reminding myself it is Halloween?

My eye will not stop twitching. The right one. It has been convulsing for 5 hours straight now, with only seconds here and there of relief. Google led me to an explanation of stress and anxiety. Now there is a revelation. Ha.

I wish I could make it stop, because it is making me so tired and irritated.

Two more days of my current job. Another promising interview tomorrow. I am sure that VICTORY is around the corner. My faith has been really tested this past week. I ask God to reveal the scary corners of my heart and he does it. Ever faithful He is.

It is quite an amazing thing, the discipline of storing His Word in my heart each morning before walking out the door. Everything looks different. People look at me different. Funny thing about that is I don't see myself. I only see them. So why do THEY look at ME different? I must look different. I must look kinder and gentler and more loving and accepting. Fruits of the spirit, you know? I was talking to Todd about that in the elevator today. How we have much more control of how people respond to us than we think we do. Why do we face the same issues from job to job, city to city, house to house? Perhaps because the common denominator is people. And ourselves. And the thick walls that we can build in an instant. We ask for it. Perhaps we should start giving more than receiving. (I sound "cryptic" I am sure, as my old buddy Phil says)

Just think about it. So many times I see pictures rather than words and have a hard time translating them.

I heard a sermon this morning that is sticking with me. A highlight for me? She said, "When you have the Spirit of the Lord living and breathing in you, God MAKES people like you!" I love that. Because it has nothing to do with me but everything to do with WHO is living in me.

This statement was in the context of coming to the Father BOLDLY with our requests, and when we do so only IN THE NAME OF JESUS and only FOR THE GLORY OF JESUS, things that we request (such as God's favor in job interviews, in my case) WILL be done. The secret is the motivation. In recent years I have struggled with this BOLDNESS in my faith. I think because I have a deep understanding of my flesh and my unworthiness. I carry around old sins and baggage I have already been forgiven for. So... I beg God for scraps. "Just" get me by. That is in direct contradiction to what the Word of God says. Don't get me wrong, I do not prescribe whatsoever to the "prosperity" theology and preaching we see so much of these days. However, God is ready to bless us with more. More opportunities, more spiritual insight, more responsibility...

Makes the battle way more intense. But I know for me, for whatever time I have left on this earth, I would rather be fighting an intense battle than chilling out and bored in the trenches.

The eye is still twitching. I need to close it for a while. Heading home to turn off the lights and pretend I am not there, because I don't have any candy to hand out.
Hey, no judgment...the rent had to be paid today and there is nothing left for candy. Dog food?

No, incognito is my costume for the evening.