Thoughts while Traveling
9.24.2005
Delight, and not Turkish, please.
I had a stupendous job interview yesterday and I think it's actually going to happen this time. The timing has finally caught up and become a good thing, and with this change comes the hope that the sky is the limit. I look forward to it and embrace it. The change, that is. And of course the hope as well. I love when God does that for us, his children.
I have always been one to love and thrive on change, as hard it as it may seem at the time. Even considering the inevitable number of hurdles that may be lurking in the shadows to jump out and trip me up, I have always secretly wanted to jump over them with ease, and that kept me running. It's funny, I don't know if this fact is inherent in me or if was picked up along the road of the lifestyle I grew up in. Always looking to the next place, waiting to see where we will find ourselves. More importantly, where we find God has dropped us.
It's always been an exhilarating fear that arises in me, and one that propels me forward rather than holds me back. I think it's the whole faith thing. Believing what I cannot see, but proclaiming it to be the truth and stepping forward. This time required a lot of patience and waiting, lying out fleece after fleece in search of the right direction. My Father was faithful enough to close the wrong doors. Like He wouldn't. But I knew each time it was His hand closing it, and with that knowledge comes peace, of which I am so grateful. Don't get me wrong, for a moment I deflated after each door gently closed and I wondered the grand question of why, but those moment passed as they all seem to do eventually.
There are still questions. Why I spent so many years in one direction now to find myself in another, and what role all that plays in my story. Is it really a matter of the choices I have made that have changed my direction? How much weight do the words obligation and responsibility and commitment hold in regards to the other words? Passion and destiny and drive. Some days it feels like they are on a balancing scale, battling over which wins.
Then there are the words that supersede them all.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self control.
The ones that are the product of where my devotion and commitment really lie. And they only speak the truth. They are evident for the world to see, aren't they? Ouch. The truth shall set you free, but sometimes the wound leaves a small battle scar.
When these words hit, none of the rest matter. Makes me wonder how much weight God actually puts on the rest.
I think we have come much closer to success when the rest don't matter any more.
Delight yourself in me, and I will grant you the desires of your heart, he says.
I venture to say that the more I actually obey Him and find myself delighting, the faster my desires of my heart change.
Notice that he commands us to DELIGHT in Him. How can I not want to obey immediately?
I find myself spending so much time worrying and planning and analyzing.
To delight and be satisfied. I think I will take that any day, any time.
I have always been one to love and thrive on change, as hard it as it may seem at the time. Even considering the inevitable number of hurdles that may be lurking in the shadows to jump out and trip me up, I have always secretly wanted to jump over them with ease, and that kept me running. It's funny, I don't know if this fact is inherent in me or if was picked up along the road of the lifestyle I grew up in. Always looking to the next place, waiting to see where we will find ourselves. More importantly, where we find God has dropped us.
It's always been an exhilarating fear that arises in me, and one that propels me forward rather than holds me back. I think it's the whole faith thing. Believing what I cannot see, but proclaiming it to be the truth and stepping forward. This time required a lot of patience and waiting, lying out fleece after fleece in search of the right direction. My Father was faithful enough to close the wrong doors. Like He wouldn't. But I knew each time it was His hand closing it, and with that knowledge comes peace, of which I am so grateful. Don't get me wrong, for a moment I deflated after each door gently closed and I wondered the grand question of why, but those moment passed as they all seem to do eventually.
There are still questions. Why I spent so many years in one direction now to find myself in another, and what role all that plays in my story. Is it really a matter of the choices I have made that have changed my direction? How much weight do the words obligation and responsibility and commitment hold in regards to the other words? Passion and destiny and drive. Some days it feels like they are on a balancing scale, battling over which wins.
Then there are the words that supersede them all.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self control.
The ones that are the product of where my devotion and commitment really lie. And they only speak the truth. They are evident for the world to see, aren't they? Ouch. The truth shall set you free, but sometimes the wound leaves a small battle scar.
When these words hit, none of the rest matter. Makes me wonder how much weight God actually puts on the rest.
I think we have come much closer to success when the rest don't matter any more.
Delight yourself in me, and I will grant you the desires of your heart, he says.
I venture to say that the more I actually obey Him and find myself delighting, the faster my desires of my heart change.
Notice that he commands us to DELIGHT in Him. How can I not want to obey immediately?
I find myself spending so much time worrying and planning and analyzing.
To delight and be satisfied. I think I will take that any day, any time.
1 Comments:
Your comments on “Delight” made me think of Sam Storms book Pleasures Evermore (www.enjoyinggodministries.com).
Storms refers to himself as a Christian Hedonist...one who seeks to fulfill all their desires in Christ. In his book Pleasure Evermore, Storms says “Is your pursuit of God’s glory motivated by a sense of duty or delight”? His illustrations are thought provoking even to the seasoned Christian! Do I want my daughters to run to greet their daddy when he comes home from work because I forced them? If their dad knew that, he would not feel very glorified would he? Storms comments that “duty without delight dishonors God”. Yes, duty is important…we must obey God, but our complete and total satisfaction in God is what glorifies Him the most and brings the human heart ultimate delight!
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