Thoughts while Traveling

I survived the ice capades. Made it around 3 times and only fell twice. However, I must confess that there was never a moment where I wasn't attached firmly to another human body, clInging for dear life. That's ok, you know- we all have our issues...Thanks to Justin & Thomas for being my bodyguards, and tripping the snotty kid that rolled by nonchalantly as I was sprawled out on the ice and screamed, " Have a nice Fall?"

Theo was barking his really big & scary bark non-stop this morning as I was drying my hair. I realized that it wasn't his usual random and short lived burst that happens when our neighbor pulls out his motorcycle. This was rediculous, he was barely letting up to breathe! I walked out into the hallway and saw him looking towards the kitchen stove. The hair on his back was raised and he was ready to take action.

Then I heard the whistle of the tea kettle. Since I had the hair dryer in my ear I hadn't heard it at all. I had a good giggle at him taking it so seriously and gave him a big hug and a treat for protecting the Street household. That kettle monster could have gotten me, man!

My hero... I love that kid.

We have a double date lined up this weekend incorporating my favorite thing: Ice skating. I just LOVE the weightless feel of landing smoothly after a triple axle. It's my one moment where I feel what it's like to be a bird.

Wait, it's not even close to the middle of the list of my favorite things. A triple axle? I can't even do a cartwheel. Trust me, I tried and tried for years. Ask Sarah.

I hate ice skating. I am always afraid of breaking my bloody arm.

The repercussions of childhood trauma, I suppose. Anything involving my legs wobbling on top of 8 wheels or a single blade of metal results in a panicked lump moving slowly up my throat.At this point you can usually find me groping the railing all the way back to the little tiny opening leading back to the bleachers. Ah, the safe haven of bleachers and hot chocolate. OR, I play the whole thing off by becoming the photographer of the winter wonderland of friends and family frolicking on the ice. That gets me off the hook, too.

I may be posting some great pictures of the Ice Capades in the near future.

It's always so darn interesting to me how much we carry our childhood fears and inhibitions into our adulthood. You see, as much as we don't want our pasts to in any way define us, it somehow does. Like the age old fear of us women turning into our mothers the older we get, or even slightly resembling them at all. Then at family gatherings we watch our mother's acting just like our grandmothers. While it may be funny to comment about and have some nice friendly banter, we secretly begin to wonder if it's that obvious with ourselves, or will it be when I am her age?
And why is that the worst possible scenario?

I know there are ways I am just like my mother. I mean, we have virtually the same face; the only difference is that I inherited my dad's skin tone and more of a "Jewett" nose. The rest is obvious. There are similarities in the way we are very detail oriented in some areas- and not at all in others. We love creating comfortable spaces. We love decorating and have the ability to shop until we literally drop. She is an extrovert, I am an introvert. She carries her years of life experience with her as do I, making up quite different perspectives and goals. Ours are very different lives weaved into the same quilt.

How did I get off on a tangent about my mother? Not sure. I believe I have become so much more aware of family and what that means in the past few years. I don't think there is anything more important. Growing up, I tended to be a whole lot closer to my mentors and my friends than my own family. I let these other people see my heart, and my family usually only saw my arse. We tend to take our frustrations towards the world and everything else out on the people the closest to us. That's sad, you know, because none of us are promised tomorrow. I was home not feeling well yesterday afternoon and ended up watching Dr. Phil. There were 2 sisters on there that were so brutal and mean to each other, it was shocking. It made me sad for them, and grateful for the relationship that I have with my sister and my brother.

And so what if I have "Martha" tendencies? At least I will go out in style...

Hey guys, wanna go ice skating over Thanksgiving?

So here I am, going through the whole application and audition process again for graduate school.A different school, different degree, different place. I have tried other things, other careers, and now I am back to my original plan I arranged for myself 10 years ago. Am I crazy? I think I may possibly be crazy. I am 27 years old, and I am just now going to try and revive what my heart has told me to pursue since I was 14? Why all the detours? Why now? Why put myself out there? Why do I have a chronic problem asking "why"? What I have lost what I once had? What if I have sabotaged myself? What if I fail? I know I could never live with myself if I don't at least go down fighting-

Perhaps I won't go down at all? I have to at least try.

I feel like I am 7 years old again, waiting to go on stage for the "Little Miss Keystone" pageant at Sunbeam camp. I was scared out of my mind as I walked out on stage ready to sing. The words of the song were:


I am a promise, I am a possibility
I am a promise, with a capital "P"
I am a great big bundle of potentiality
And I am learning to hear God's voice
And I am trying to make the right choices
I am a promise to be,
Anything God wants me to be.


This time I am sure won't end in my tears dropping all over the stage and running off due to overwhelming stage fright. I seem to have gotten over that through the years of forcing myself through it, or perhaps just learned to handle it better.
Nontheless, I feel like that terrified brown eyed girl with the perm and shaky knees again.

Perhaps because I am still that kid, just a lot bigger with a whole lot more baggage, a lot more life experience under my belt, wisdom, regrets, and thankfully a few mustard seeds left in my stash.

I hear a soft whisper.

"My Grace is Sufficient."

Could it be? I am still a promise?

And through it all, I am still yours, God.
Do with me what YOU will.

It's election day and I am (ahem) wearing red. Haha. That was an accident, definitely an accident. However as I was driving to work this morning whilst being inundated with negative ads for Virginians Thelma Drake and Phil Kellum once again, I realized that I was donning a bright red shirt and had a nice giggle. And no, I had not yet had a cup of coffee.

Since that time this morning, I have since consumed my daily cup of joe, and have already had a healthy political discussion with my fellow cubicle counterparts. I have also been offered stickers and necklaces, reminding Virginians to "Vote no". Apparently, I do not work in "PatRobertsonville" any longer. Otherwise I would be gunned down on my way back to my car tonight. Perhaps.


Which reminds me of something- Sunday morning I was challenged and inspired by what I saw on television. We didn't go to church because Justin was flying to Atlanta (for his grandmother's funeral- which is today- praying for the family) and I had to take him to the airport. So, like a good wife I laid in bed and watched church on TV while he scrambled around looking for ties and socks, etc. Sorry, honey.
I heard a good sermon on being "a chosen generation, a royal priesthood..." I Peter 2:9. It was a good teaching on Spiritual giftings...

When I got home from the airport I was flipping channels again and landed on Cspan,
where Barack Obama was talking about his new book, The Audacity of Hope at Boston University, I believe. I must say, I found myself responding out loud as he answered questions about the book which holds his approach to politics & more. The involuntary response from me wasn't because I am ultra enthusiastic about politics or the like. My attention span is usually about as long as a bobby pin when listening/watching political programming. I mean, I have my views and vote accordingly like any other citizen, but I don't choose to spend my time absorbing political propaganda or debating issues until sunrise.

My father was the one that somewhat introduced the good Senator from Indiana to Justin and I, and told us we should check him out. I have been lately, and especially after seeing that press conference with him, I plan on reading his book in the near future. He made sense.

So, I sat and actually took notes as he spoke. Do you think I miss grad school?
Here I am , taking notes from the TV.... yes, I miss school alot. Anyways, he said some things that have really stuck with me regarding seperating church & state, faith issues, how he approaches the "hot button" issues that dicated the last presidential election, etc, etc.

I think he has a lot of things to say. I think I will listen.

Man, I am long winded today. I still feel like writing.

Justin and I have recently subscribed to Netflix and we are enjoying it immensely. I got a movie in the mail yesterday that was not on our list and yet had my name clearly on it. I was intruiged and opened it up. It was a movie called "Frankie and Johnny are Married" and I watched it last night. It was throughly enjoyable. I can't wait for Justin to see it, I think he will like it a lot. MY question is: Does Netflix have psychic powers and now sends out movies that they know you will love? Or maybe they knew that I wouldn't have anything to watch on TV Monday night due to the Country Music Awards and felt they needed to fulfill their promise to entertain me? I missed that in the advertising. Wow- what's the world coming to. No need for humans anymore. Really.

Ode to Netflix?