Thoughts while Traveling

Wow. What a day. A kickstart for sure. Had my kicks and giggles and my own personal slice of "humble pie" with a cherry on top. Here I am at the start of a new day...caught unaware. Isn't there supposed to be something in between? Perhaps that's why "God created the heaven's and the earth" and there was DARK! To sleep...what a lovely idea. And that it will remain.

Marty, I just want you to know that we miss you very much as well. We haven't been very good at keeping up with each other, have we? I can't remember the last time I saw you. Now that's sad. All of you lovely "family" down there in ATL, I just want you to know that we think of you and we miss you very much. Out of sight does not mean out of mind. You are loved. You are missed. You are lifted up. All of you.

We had the pleasure of being in the company of Lex last Saturday evening. It was really great seeing you, buddy. You made our day. Wish we all could have stayed awake during "The Polar Express" and everything after. Good times.

And I am off for my first cup of coffee for the day. Adios.

A Flummadiddle is a New England casserole. I learned this over the weekend...along with many other things. I particularly enjoy that word. Flummadiddle. Say it a few times and it is bound to bring a smile (at least a smirk) to your face.

You just never know with our family on holidays. We came to several conclusions collectively over a lovely Thanksgiving dinner, after of course....giving thanks. I will recap one the highlights: God is a chicken with very large wings and he is merely an interested spectator of football, sitting on the edge of his seet waiting to see who prevails in the end (perhaps flapping away in excitement all the while.)

The weekend was too short and altogether pleasant. Booth has gotten fatter, and he is learning to play the guitar. I am amazed at not only his great ear, but his ability to succeed in learning something when he decides he really wants to. Booth has the ability to touch the deepest part of my heart, one that sometimes I admit seems unreachable. I love you, my brother...my kindred spirit. You give me hope when I can't find it. I know I am supposed to be "older and wiser"(not so much) , but you have wisdom beyond your years and you remind me how to approach my journey, with all the bumps and twists in the road. You probably have no idea of that. It's very true. On a side note, him and Justin are rediculous. They really should go into the country music industry.


I am thankful. For many things. Life is so fragile, and we can learn more from our grandparents that many of us neglect to find. I wish I had learned this when I was a kid. Waiting until they are almost gone to really "see" them is sobering, challenging, and convicting. Justin and I are both 25 years old, and we are blessed enough to have all EIGHT of our grandparents still around. That's pretty crazy if you think about it. It's also a little sad, knowing that we will have eight funerals to attend as adults....fully aware of of what's happening. That is, if we don't go first. You never know in this lifetime. Life is fragile and it's where your heart is that matters.

I still hate hospitals and get very sick to my stomach when in one, smelling the all too familiar disinfectant smell ... and yet they are a part of life, and I know I will have to keep darkening the door of them. Hope I can do it with a more pleasant look on my face next time. And I hope I can have more opportunities to see my grandparents and know them more. I really do.

Well, the lessons are learned and the first holiday of the season is over. Now I must get some work done and get my last good night's sleep before the downhill sprint ahead of me. Oh, December 22 cannot come fast enough. A small vacation, which I have already given my mother-in-law a heads up that I will need at least a day of total hibernation. She's cool like that. When I think of all that has to get done (and done WELL) in the next 3 weeks my head begins to spin...yet I know where to look for strength. And so I cry out for help, buckle my seat belt, and brace myself for the ride.



us "thinking." This picture makes me laugh.

Sadi The Gulistan: Once, when my feet were bare, and I had not the means of obtaining shoes I came to the chief of Kufah in a state of much dejection, and saw there a man who had no feet. I returned thanks to God and acknowledged his mercies, and endured my want of shoes with patience

Happy Thanksgiving!

So, George Foreman (I don't know if his name has an 'e' or not) spoke in chapel today. These are my musings after such an encounter:

1. He is a very large man.

2. I wanted to ask him if he could hook me up with a grill for my husband's Christmas present, but at the last minute...I found the surroundings inappropriate?

3. I had no idea. I had no idea that he was even a Christian, much less have a story like that. Wow. What a powerful testimony.

4. Never knew I would be so blessed after meeting a heavyweight boxing champion...

5. I am glad I made myself leave what I affectionately call "my little cubicle of DOOM" to go to chapel today.

Wish I could just for once be able to get lost in the daydream. Reality packs a mean punch some days. Caffeine can only take you so far and sleep has to end at a certain point. Such is life.

big-brother bookkeeping
Jesus’ parable in Luke 15 of the prodigal son tells the story of a grace-filled father, a wayward son, and a resentful brother. Consider the elder brother’s perspective on the departure and return of his younger brother.

Little brother had taken off with his prematurely obtained portion of their father’s estate. Elder brother is angered not by little brother’s return, but by his father’s response to that return. If the father had accepted little brother back on his stated terms of “I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men," elder brother might have thought, “fair enough.” But to receive him back as a son—and as a son with honors and privileges—that was too much, it was painfully unfair.

I call the eldest son’s perspective “big brother bookkeeping”: spiritual and moral accounting that is precise and accurate and one-dimensional. Big-brother bookkeeping records actions but not attitude, deeds but not heart. Debits and credits are made and paid through works alone.
According to the eldest son’s one-dimensional bookkeeping, it was entirely unfair for his father to show favor to little brother before he had at least “made good” his debt through restitution. Receiving him coolly as a slave would have been just. But embracing and giving gifts and celebrating the return of one with an impossible debt seemed shockingly unjust, weak, and inconsistent.

Big brother bookkeeping has never, will never, make the acquaintance of grace.
Father God’s bookkeeping is not limited to one dimension: He records action and attitude, deed and heart, works and motivation. In Jesus’ parable, both sons were in the red in their father’s books. The eldest son displayed right actions, but his deeds were motivated by duty not by honor and love: “Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders” (Luke 15:29).

The younger son—in the midst of his wanderings—discovered the connection between rebellion and misery and stumbled upon a truth that the eldest could not comprehend: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son” (Luke 15.21).

To the resentful eldest the father spoke tender truth and showed concern. To the broken youngest the father opened his arms and called for celebration.

Grace rises to greet sincere and sober estimations of our sinfulness. That truth will continue to evade the understanding of those bound by big-brother bookkeeping.

Do you think it is a little odd that though the Lorax spoke for the trees, he did so in a book made almost if not entirely of paper?
Dirty.

Ok. I have in fact read on...and I have found that if I allow Him to, God really is opening my eyes to the truth of where I am right now, through this book . Perhaps a glimpse into the "why" of my present existence as I sit here at 7:45 am on November 12. 2004. Thank you, Lord...for your timely wisdom.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." ~ Proverbs 4:23

"You are never a great man when you have more mind than heart." ~ Beauchene

Dorothy's journey down the yellow brick road tells quite a story. The tin man. The one without what? He had once been a real man.

"I thought I had beaten the Wicked Witch then, and I worked harder than ever; but I little knew how cruel the enemy could be. She thought of a new way to kill my love for the beautiful Munchkin maiden, and made my axe slip again, so that it cut right through my body, splitting it into two halves. Once more the tinner came to my help and made me a body of tin. Fastening my tin arms and legs and head to it, by means of joints, so that I could move around as well as ever. But alas! I now had no heart, so that I lost all my love fo the munchkin girl, and did not care whether I married her or not...
" My body shone so brightly in the sun that I felt very proud of it and it did not matter now if my axe slipped, for it could not cut me. There was only one danger- that my joints would rust; but I kept an oil can in the cottage and took care to oil myself whenever I needed it. However, there came a day when I forgot to do this, and, being caught in a rainstorm, before I had thought of the danger my joints had rusted, and I wa sleft to stand in the woods until you came to help me. "
"It was a terrible thing to undergo, but during the year I stood there I had time to think that the greatest loss I had known was the loss of my heart. While I was in love I was the happiest man on earth; but no one can love who has not a heart, and so I am resolved to ask Oz to give me one. If he does, I will go back to the Munchkin maiden and marry her."
Both Dorothy and the scarecrow had been greatly interested in the story of the tin woodman, and now they knew why he was so anxious to get a new heart. "All the same," said the scarecrow, " I shall ask for brains instead of a heart; for a fool would not know what to do with a heart if he had one." "I shall take the heart, " returned the tin man, "for brains do not make one happy, and happiness id the best thing in the world." ~ (Frank Baum, The wonderful Wizard of Oz)

If the Enemy can succeed in disabling or deadening my heart, he then has successfully foiled the plan of God...a heart where love reigns. He cannot, will not succeed. I don't want to sleepwalk through life anymore, and that is the plan of the one against my creator.

Like the tin man, I am resolved to ask Oz to give me a new heart.

I just want to proclaim at the top of my lungs "BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!" ~ just like the dude in Monty Python..."BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!!!!!!"

The heart is central. I need oil.

We can all learn a lot in life from a six foot rabbit, not just Elwood.

"My mother used to say to me,
'In this world, Elwood, you must be oh, so smart or oh so pleasant.' For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."

Semantics is the word of the day. I like that word. Today was a just a good day for semantics. I still don't know what they were talking about...
I just feel like giggling. I want to sit and giggle until giggling can be no more. Now, that's out of character for me. I don't remember the last time I had a giggling fit. Perhaps it's time for one. Maybe I should get the girls together for a slumber party. Justin can fend for himself :) We could get Lori drunk and just...giggle. Now THAT would be a fun time. What do you think, Melinda? Kicks and giggles.

About a month ago we went on a day trip with a few friends. We started reading the BOOK OF QUESTIONS...and one of the questions we explored was this (or close to it) :

If money were not an issue and you could move to another country of the world and never step back onto American soil again, would you go?

Anyone could probably guess what my answer would be. We're all so different. I don't know what made me think about that, but it came. I miss seeing the world. There is so much more to see. I DO like being able to go the edge of the east coast whenever I please. I love the ocean..the vastness of it reminds me of how small I am and how huge my creator is. I hope I never stop being awed by that.

Ok. So this is definitely another selection of random thoughts. Therefore..onward we go.

In my acting class we have doing Meisner text excercises, and I have enjoyed doing "free association" more than I would admit. It's great to just write whatever comes, no pre-premeditation, no punctuation...basically I have been given an open door to allow my multiple personalities to co-exists and escape! I think I love it.

Guster is for lovers. Virginia is for lovers. To have Guster in Virginia= overstimulation.

avoided teachers

mistake n. An error. miss v. To fail to hit, reach, meet, or make contact with (a specific object).
A tearful plea flows from countless committed hearts: “I just don’t want to make a mistake—I don’t want to miss God.”

“I don’t want to make a mistake…”

If avoiding errors were a child’s goal, they would never attempt walking after their first stumble or speaking after their first linguistic bumble. They would quit writing after their first spelling test and quit playing after their first recess.

How wonderful that children do not immediately acquire a gripping fear of failure. They view life and faith as a journey. But as adults, we begin viewing life and faith as a performance.
The focus of a journey is direction. The focus of a performance is perfection.
Pity. Mistakes can be wise teachers—if we ever let them speak.

“I don’t want to miss God.”

He’s really rather big to miss, don’t you think? For devoted hearts, being afraid of missing God is like being in a submarine and fearing missing the water.

We often think of God’s will as a thin, barely visible line, drawn with chalk that blurs in bad weather. However, the scriptures speak of obedience as a path and a way. There is room to learn and grow on this path paved with grace.

God does not play hide and seek with those who have committed their lives to Him. Though the specific placement of His children varies greatly, our callings are quite similar. Jesus simply says, “Follow Me.” God is hard to miss when He’s the One we follow.

I don't really wish to beat a dead horse - but while my wife and sister-in-law have said their peace, I would like to comment on the blog before last and the comments that followed. Why? Because that's what blogs are for! hehe

Let me start with something from the comment: "... one issue that rises above all else- abortion."

Is that the one issue and does it indeed rise above all else? That certainly is an interesting point of view, and not really a very surprising one in our polarized society bent towards extremes. I (surprise surprise) disagree. If abortion were an isolated issue that was affected by nothing else, then I might agree- but it's not. A woman's decision to terminate or not has a lot to do with outside factors- healthcare, the cost of, the economy, social standing, cultural factors... and others. Consider this: the decision to abort, at one time, may have widely been because of a social fear. A fear of whom? Christians. Unwed single mothers were looked down upon and shunned/shamed to a frightening degree. Rather than raise a child under strain of scorn, "sweeping the problem under the carpet" became the solution. No one would have been the wiser except that many women died from a procedure that was largely underdeveloped.
THIS IS NOT A CASE FOR ABORTION!!! This IS an opening of the curtains to those who would limit themselves to a sliver through the window of a world view and the social responsibilties of the church. If the church's initial response had been to embrace single mothers then imagine the generations that wouldn't have had to die.
You'd be surprised (or hopefully you wouldn't) at the number of taboo and depraved actions in our secular cultures that can be traced back to time where christians failed to even attempt to emulate Christ.

So no, this isn't, and shouldn't be the only issue.
Before I start on this other issue, let me say that I am not against voting or participating in the American system. But...

What is our role? Really? What is our purpose, our goal, our raison d'etre? I hope that we are followers of Christ first and Americans second (or lower). I feel that the issue that rises above all else would be- will I be able to live out my faith and reach people effectively? That's the issue, which is connected to a lot of other issues. If we are to reach the nations- the foreign policy is important- others in the world do not want to follow an american Jesus, neither do I. If we are to reach the poor- then the economy is important- many do not want to follow a white middle-to-upper-class Jesus, neither do I.
So, as Christians, I would encourage you to choose the candidate that you feel will allow you to continue to reach those without hope. And accept that this will not lead everyone to the same candidate- and that's perfectly fine.

I would warn Christians about the dangers of mandating morality. First, look at the history of any European nation and ask them how they feel about the partnership of church and state. And please do not kid yourself by saying "Well, that's Catholicism." Three factors are prevalent: Mankind, religion, and power. Then note the rampant secularism of that region. There are things people respond to and things they react to.
Let me tell you a story. A friend that I hold in high regard and I had an argument. During the course of our argument, an account came up of a time where I confronted him about an action that I didn't agree with. I thought I handled the situation well, but I then learned that I had not. His statement was that I "sounded like his father." - a statement that, at first, I thought wasn't to bad because I know his father to be a wise man- but, alas, that was not his point. He didn't say I was wrong, he didn't say I shouldn't have been the one, or that it wasn't the right time, or that my face was distorted in a menacing way- he simply said that I sounded like his father. Fact: I am not his father. I presented him with a situation in which most if not all people react, as opposed to responding- and his reaction was to shut down and not accept what I was trying to convey, simply because... I told him what to do.
As Christians, life is what we are reacting to- and Christ gave us something to respond to. I hope that we are giving our world something to repond to.

I am not into debate, never have been. Sarah got that particular gene straight from Dad. Debate away, my dear brother's and sister's. I have just heard so much debate lately it makes me weary. That's where I am. I am gonna just move on, if you all don't mind.

I am reading a book right now which I have not decided I like ot not, but the more I read the more I keep reading, so I guess that's a good sign. "Waking the Dead" by John Eldridge.
Last night's sitting was highlighted by this:

"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal"(2 Cor. 4:16-18)

The first line grabs me by the throat. "Therefore we do not lose heart." Somebody knows how to not lose heart? I'm all ears. For we are losing heart. All of us. Daily. It is the single most unifying quality shared by the human race on the planet at this time. We are losing- or have already lost---heart. The glorious, resilient image of God in us is fading away. And this man claims to know his way out. Now, to appreciate the weight of his words, you need some idea of what his life has been like. He is neither wealthy nor famous; his life has not been sheltered, as the saying goes. But he has seen visions, had encounters, you might say, with something beyond the walls of this world. Ever since then, things have gotten difficult...

I will keep you posted on what comes next. This excerpt meets me right where I am. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit will take me on to the next tier. Have a good day, everybody. Let's love each other.

I am just going to endorse my sister's most recent blog, because I agree wholeheartedly and I think our convictions are likeminded...or more like "likehearted"...

This is where I stand as well, and I am done talking about this election, because it's over and done with. What happens next is what matters. Yet these words ring true in my spirit today.

God is not a republican. Or a democrat.

These leaders of the Religious Right mistakenly claim that God has taken a side in this election, and that Christians should only vote for George W. Bush.We believe that claims of divine appointment for the President, uncritical affirmation of his policies, and assertions that all Christians must vote for his re-election constitute bad theology and dangerous religion.We believe that sincere Christians and other people of faith can choose to vote for President Bush or Senator Kerry - for reasons deeply rooted in their faith.We believe all candidates should be examined by measuring their policies against the complete range of Christian ethics and values.We will measure the candidates by whether they enhance human life, human dignity, and human rights; whether they strengthen family life and protect children; whether they promote racial reconciliation and support gender equality; whether they serve peace and social justice; and whether they advance the common good rather than only individual, national, and special interests.We are not single-issue voters.We believe that poverty - caring for the poor and vulnerable - is a religious issue. Do the candidates' budget and tax policies reward the rich or show compassion for poor families? Do their foreign policies include fair trade and debt cancellation for the poorest countries?

Matthew 25:35-40, Isaiah 10:1-2We believe that the environment - caring for God's earth - is a religious issue. Do the candidates' policies protect the creation or serve corporate interests that damage it?

Genesis 2:15, Psalm 24:1We believe that war - and our call to be peacemakers - is a religious issue. Do the candidates' policies pursue "wars of choice" or respect international law and cooperation in responding to real global threats?

Matthew 5:9We believe that human rights - respecting the image of God in every person - is a religious issue. How do the candidates propose to change the attitudes and policies that led to the abuse and torture of Iraqi prisoners?

Genesis 1:27We believe that our response to terrorism is a religious issue. Do the candidates adopt the dangerous language of righteous empire in the war on terrorism and confuse the roles of God, church, and nation? Do the candidates see evil only in our enemies but never in our own policies?

Matthew 6:33, Proverbs 8:12-13We believe that a consistent ethic of human life is a religious issue. Do the candidates' positions on abortion, capital punishment, euthanasia, weapons of mass destruction, HIV/AIDS-and other pandemics-and genocide around the world obey the biblical injunction to choose life?

Deuteronomy 30:19We also admonish both parties and candidates to avoid the exploitation of religion or our congregations for partisan political purposes.By this statement, we call Christians and other people of faith to a more thoughtful involvement in this election, rather than claiming God's endorsement of any candidate. This is the meaning of responsible Christian citizenship.

from Sarah:
**back to me**these words will most likely call up strong feelings within all of us, no matter our political views. what remains true is that God is the supreme judge and that we are responsible to make informed decisions. as in....not making your political judgments by basing them solely on the personal beliefs of anyone else - your parents, your pastor, your friends, the analysts on television or the man holding a sign on the side of the road. why do you believe the way that you do? how much did you research the policies and decision-making history of both candidates? what do you know about the whereabouts of our parent's social security funds that they've been contributing to throughout their adult lives? what do you know about the way stem cell research is conducted and avenues other than abortion for obtaining the material? how much do you know about our country's policies regarding marriage, why it is regulated by the state instead of the federal government? where does the constitution leave us when it comes to the rights of a woman and her body?

bottom line: at the end of the day it may not matter who you voted for. what may have made an eternal difference is the manner in which you conducted yourself during this election. are we not told in the new testament that Christians are to be known by our love?all of this makes me think. and pray.

i hope that my words do not offend, but encourage us all to know who we are, what we believe, and why.

Her handwriting...leading to her heart...and her soul, which is dancing with Aaron and Jesus...she spoke to me today through her handwriting. I am glad I have her handwriting. His, too. Memories morph, but their handwriting will always look exactly the same as the moment they put their pen to the paper. I love that. Reminds me that they were here, and one day, I will dance, too. With them... the souls that touched my soul deep, the hearts that our creator allowed me to know and be blessed enough to be linked to. Grateful. Yearning. Humbled. Thank you.

She said to me today:

"Let us acknowledge the Lord;let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear. He will come to us like winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." Hosea 6:3

"Declare what you know to be truth. Do not rely on your feelings. But do not condemn yourself because of your feelings. He made your emotions. Ask him to turn your mourning into joy! He will!
1-4-3
Kathy

Ok.

We cast our votes this morning along with millions of other sleepy Americans. We stood in line to "fulfill our civic duty" and we fulfilled it. Got the sticker and everything. The rest will be history tommorow morning. Praise God that Jesus Christ has shed His blood for me and for you, and the battle does not belong to us anyway. The Enemy is out to kill, steal, and destroy as usual, and is fighting hard to make slander an idol in itself.

Justin and I spend most of our day surrounded by a "cloud of witnesses"~ those who proclaim the name of Jesus loudly and proudly...and yet the slander that I have witnessed between Christians just this morning at work made my insides churn and my heart ache. Condemning each other to Hell in our judgemental words. God, have mercy on us, your people.

I read one thing that reminded me in the midst of turmoil what is important to remember through all this:

...In the meantime, whatever happens, Christians, whose citizenship is in heaven, cannot be too happy or too angry, because their victory is won not by politics but by suffering and the cross. The real victory is not political. The winner is the triumphant Lord, Jesus Christ, who has written history and will also write its final glorious future.
Peter Jones

I know who I serve and who wins in the end. I pray, Lord, that my focus be on you. How can I be like you today? How can I serve you today? Your will be done.